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[personal profile] eimarra
Sorry I haven't been posting. Yes, still tons of notes on WFC. More on NaNo. Random thoughts.

But I've had deadlines for work, and that has to come first. (Everyone wants their copyeditors and proofreaders to meet deadlines, right? True for nonfiction as well.) And then I've been having this frustration at the lack of balance in my life -- by which I mean I don't get everything done that I want to do. That couldn't possibly be because I'm trying to do too much, right?

Anyway, [livejournal.com profile] bonniers and [livejournal.com profile] marfisk have helped a lot with my levels of frustration. Then last night I had an epiphany. Maybe a minor one, but it meant a lot to me.

The first part had to do with Paperback Writer's blog. I love her "way of the cheetah" posts, but it occurred to me that she's not a cheetah. Cheetahs sprint. They're fast, but they have no endurance. Obviously, PBW has that. She writes every day.

The second part is from a thread on FM a while back, when I made a comment to Mar that I prefer to work with an idea when it's new and shiny. Sure, who doesn't? Well, I found out that some people actually like to ignore new ideas on the theory that if they're good, they'll come back.

The third part is that I have a short attention span. That's one of the things I like about my work -- I get lots of different topics to work on, and I provide different services. I can switch off to refresh myself. Works well for me. Well, except for when I have a copyediting project that carries on for a long time, a chapter at a time, meaning I'm still getting material long after I've ceased to be interested in the project. It's still a topic I like (usually), and I do the work well when I make myself sit down and do it. But I don't want to. I hate it, dread it, procrastinate doing it, and suffer lots of angst over keeping on keeping on.

Enter my writing. Short stories aren't a problem. I get the idea, I write them. I may get unhappy with how long it takes me to edit and submit, but the idea is complete. Novels . . . well, I've won NaNo twice. If I sit down and write, work very hard and very fast over a short period of time, I can get a lot done. If I try for steady output over a long period of time, I get that same feeling of "Aren't I done with this yet?" I can do it, but there's a lot of mental effort involved in each session of writing.

I have this one series of books -- three of them, but they're not really a trilogy -- about how each one of a trio of sisters learns to deal with her own form of magic after their father (a war wizard) is killed. They're planned; they're plotted; I've done the worldbuilding. But I haven't written a single word of them yet. Part of my mind feels like they're complete, as though I should be able to pick them up off the bookshelf and read them already. What's up with this writing thing?

So the solution to being frustrated about my writing right now is actually to keep going on it, to use what's left of that initial enthusiasm to get that first draft down as fast as I can. The long-term solution? The way to find balance? Those I don't know, but I'll work on them. When the mood strikes. ;)
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