Dawn, no worries. The version you critted was shorter, and I think the structure worked for the market I had in mind when I wrote it. The story didn't grab the editor (he liked it, but said that it really deserved to be fleshed out), and so I've played with it a bit since then.
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Date: 2009-10-09 08:49 pm (UTC)A prologue? Horrors, no! Nobody reads prologues! Well, except me, evidently. ;-)