apologies and some notes on editing
Mar. 30th, 2006 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eimarraSorry, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adais. I know you're doing NaNoEdMo, and any notes that I post now are not going to help you make those 50 hours. I apologize for not being more timely. I had notes for a more extensive discussion, but they've disappeared on my desk somewhere. If I find them, I'll create a new post. Meanwhile, if there are any questions or specific ideas you want addressed, let me know.
***
Editing can take place on many levels: scene, character arc, paragraph, or sentence (to give one set of divisions).
Holly Lisle has a very good breakdown of how to edit at the scene level, the "One-Pass Manuscript Revision". Also check out "How to Revise a Novel".
For characters, look at the story arc for each of your major characters. (You can do it for the minor characters, too, but start with the biggies first.) Does the character change over the course of the story? Does the character's arc reflect the story's theme in some fashion? Is the character well-rounded? Is there any spot where a reader might say "Why did he do that?" or "That is soooo not something she would do"? Do your characters sound different from each other? If you have scenes written from different points of view, is the voice different between characters, and consistent for a given character? A good pair of references to create memorable characters that deepen your story are Donald Maass's Writing the Breakout Novel and Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook.
And it might seem obvious, but is the character's name spelled the same throughout? Do her eyes stay the same color? Does her old boyfriend's name change? If he has pets, or a horse, or a named sword (or whatever), is that name consistent? Is the description? Does his old rustbucket morph from a beat-up '68 Mustang into a '78 Nova that no one in their right mind would have bought used? And so forth.
Paragraphs are all about rhythm and flow. Are the sentences choppy? Are the sentences all the same length and style? How about the paragraphs--are they all long and blocky or short and choppy, or is there a mix of sizes? Do you use repeated sounds (consonants or vowels) to create a mood for the prose? Are words repeated in close proximity, lessening the impact of the word? Does each paragraph contain a single thought? Is the transition from the previous paragraph clear? Is it written in logical order? (One of my faults is the tendency to introduce something and then explain it a sentence or two later. This confuses the reader. I've mostly overcome this issue, but when I edit, I still see it occasionally.) Is the most important idea at the end of the paragraph where it will stay with the reader, or is it buried somewhere in the middle?
With sentences, it's all about the meaning. Do they make sense? Have you cut out all the junk words that add no meaning (very, really, of course, just, rather . . . Not an exhaustive list, and occasional uses of each may be necessary, but they are not words you want to rely on to carry your story)? Have you trimmed away excess adverbs and adjectives, and made certain that each verb and noun is as specific as possible, to carry your meaning? Does every pronoun have an easily identifiable antecedent? Are all of the sentences written in the same tense? (Occasionally, there are reasons to change tense within a work, but if the story shifts back and forth between present and past, for example, it's confusing.) Is each word really the word you were after, or is there a word that it is commonly confused with, either in common usage or by a spellchecker? (Examples: compose/comprise, it's/its, allude/elude, allusion/illusion, from/form) If you mixed your metaphors, was it intentional? Do you consistently distinguish between "which" and "that," or do you use the two interchangeably? Do you either use or not use a serial comma consistently? (Either is fine, so long as you're consistent!) Do you rely on constructions that are weak?
Reference books to consider include Michael Seidman's The Complete Guide to Editing Your Fiction, Renni Browne and Dave King's Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, and Steven Taylor Goldsberry's The Writer's Book of Wisdom: 101 Rules for Mastering Your Craft. (The last one taught me such rules as "The 'as' clause is for amateurs" and "Sentences are written like jokes: The punch line is at the end.") And, of course, everyone's favorite, Strunk & White.
Okay, that's all I have for now. Hope it's helpful. Let me know if you have any questions.
***
Going cross-country next week; I'll be back in time for the April meeting at the B&N café. I do plan to get your crit back to you, Ooklah, before I leave on Monday.
adais. I know you're doing NaNoEdMo, and any notes that I post now are not going to help you make those 50 hours. I apologize for not being more timely. I had notes for a more extensive discussion, but they've disappeared on my desk somewhere. If I find them, I'll create a new post. Meanwhile, if there are any questions or specific ideas you want addressed, let me know.***
Editing can take place on many levels: scene, character arc, paragraph, or sentence (to give one set of divisions).
Holly Lisle has a very good breakdown of how to edit at the scene level, the "One-Pass Manuscript Revision". Also check out "How to Revise a Novel".
For characters, look at the story arc for each of your major characters. (You can do it for the minor characters, too, but start with the biggies first.) Does the character change over the course of the story? Does the character's arc reflect the story's theme in some fashion? Is the character well-rounded? Is there any spot where a reader might say "Why did he do that?" or "That is soooo not something she would do"? Do your characters sound different from each other? If you have scenes written from different points of view, is the voice different between characters, and consistent for a given character? A good pair of references to create memorable characters that deepen your story are Donald Maass's Writing the Breakout Novel and Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook.
And it might seem obvious, but is the character's name spelled the same throughout? Do her eyes stay the same color? Does her old boyfriend's name change? If he has pets, or a horse, or a named sword (or whatever), is that name consistent? Is the description? Does his old rustbucket morph from a beat-up '68 Mustang into a '78 Nova that no one in their right mind would have bought used? And so forth.
Paragraphs are all about rhythm and flow. Are the sentences choppy? Are the sentences all the same length and style? How about the paragraphs--are they all long and blocky or short and choppy, or is there a mix of sizes? Do you use repeated sounds (consonants or vowels) to create a mood for the prose? Are words repeated in close proximity, lessening the impact of the word? Does each paragraph contain a single thought? Is the transition from the previous paragraph clear? Is it written in logical order? (One of my faults is the tendency to introduce something and then explain it a sentence or two later. This confuses the reader. I've mostly overcome this issue, but when I edit, I still see it occasionally.) Is the most important idea at the end of the paragraph where it will stay with the reader, or is it buried somewhere in the middle?
With sentences, it's all about the meaning. Do they make sense? Have you cut out all the junk words that add no meaning (very, really, of course, just, rather . . . Not an exhaustive list, and occasional uses of each may be necessary, but they are not words you want to rely on to carry your story)? Have you trimmed away excess adverbs and adjectives, and made certain that each verb and noun is as specific as possible, to carry your meaning? Does every pronoun have an easily identifiable antecedent? Are all of the sentences written in the same tense? (Occasionally, there are reasons to change tense within a work, but if the story shifts back and forth between present and past, for example, it's confusing.) Is each word really the word you were after, or is there a word that it is commonly confused with, either in common usage or by a spellchecker? (Examples: compose/comprise, it's/its, allude/elude, allusion/illusion, from/form) If you mixed your metaphors, was it intentional? Do you consistently distinguish between "which" and "that," or do you use the two interchangeably? Do you either use or not use a serial comma consistently? (Either is fine, so long as you're consistent!) Do you rely on constructions that are weak?
Reference books to consider include Michael Seidman's The Complete Guide to Editing Your Fiction, Renni Browne and Dave King's Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, and Steven Taylor Goldsberry's The Writer's Book of Wisdom: 101 Rules for Mastering Your Craft. (The last one taught me such rules as "The 'as' clause is for amateurs" and "Sentences are written like jokes: The punch line is at the end.") And, of course, everyone's favorite, Strunk & White.
Okay, that's all I have for now. Hope it's helpful. Let me know if you have any questions.
***
Going cross-country next week; I'll be back in time for the April meeting at the B&N café. I do plan to get your crit back to you, Ooklah, before I leave on Monday.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Not really questions, so much as observations...
Date: 2006-03-31 01:18 pm (UTC)I really don't want to go the Stephen King route, where the first 300 pages or so is all description, setting, and backstory; then all of a sudden (page 301), the story picks you up and takes you along for a high-speed thrill ride.
Is it okay to only give the basics for some, because (thanks to my friend Tory) this novel is fast become the first of a trilogy, and I can flesh some of them better in subsequent novels.
2) I tend to ramble. It's the way I think, and to some extent- its the way I write. (At least I keep the randomness to a minimum.) I know they always say, don't write 'the sky is blue', but show that the sky is blue through the character. Fine. But how do you draw the line between too much dialog, and not enough narration? When do I go up to my Writer's Loft and sit down with my character of choice and tell him that he talks too much, so we're going to edit his soliloquy on page 155?
3)I had a three, but I can't remember it now. I'll get back to you...
Re: Not really questions, so much as observations...
Date: 2006-03-31 05:03 pm (UTC)But you don't want your readers to dismiss the secondary characters out of hand, deciding that they're unimportant or mere plot devices. (As you said, red shirts.) If you are going to want to use the characters in other works, it probably is best to hint at some of their depth here.
2) Sometimes you need to say "the sky is blue." Or green, or pink, or whatever. But you can do that through the character's internal observations, or you can do it through dialogue.
f'rex:
Shandi looked out the window of her tower. Trees she'd never seen before rose a dozen meters or more past her window, masking all but a sliver of blue overhead. Monkeys in the trees chattered and threw things at brightly colored birds. Unfamiliar flowers perfumed the air. She'd never felt so alone.
or:
"I've missed you," Dana said. "It felt so strange to read the morning paper without you there to argue with. And I was always making too much coffee to drink by myself."
Robin turned away. "I didn't."
"Never?"
Robin's head shook. "Only once. I heard a helicopter and I glanced up. The sky was the same shade as that shirt you wore on our first date--that faded denim one."
#
Well, I didn't say they were good examples. Just examples of ways to say that the sky is blue.
But how do you draw the line between too much dialog, and not enough narration?
If you're skimming when you're reading it, you probably have too much exposition. If you have more white space than letters for page after page, you probably have have too much dialogue. Honestly, this is something I judge visually--try for a mix of short and long paragraphs, blocks of text with bits of dialogue.
One good way to learn is to find books that you love. Look at how the author balances dialogue and narration. See how much of one the author uses before breaking it up. Look at another author. The idea isn't to write in the same format as your favorite authors, but rather to get an understanding of what range works in stories that you enjoy. Because above all else, you should enjoy your own stories.
As for the soliloquy--I'm going back to my comment on skimming. If you find you don't read the whole thing, it's too long. If it repeats information that's elsewhere, cut it. If it's infodump, cut it and figure out how to work the information into the story more naturally. If the soliloquy makes it to your beta readers and they skim it or tell you it's too long (not just one comment, but consistent comments across your reader selection), then you probably should cut it. ;-)
3) Whenever you remember . . .