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Nov. 23rd, 2005 06:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eimarraSorry I haven't been posting. Yes, still tons of notes on WFC. More on NaNo. Random thoughts.
But I've had deadlines for work, and that has to come first. (Everyone wants their copyeditors and proofreaders to meet deadlines, right? True for nonfiction as well.) And then I've been having this frustration at the lack of balance in my life -- by which I mean I don't get everything done that I want to do. That couldn't possibly be because I'm trying to do too much, right?
Anyway,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bonniers and marfisk have helped a lot with my levels of frustration. Then last night I had an epiphany. Maybe a minor one, but it meant a lot to me.
The first part had to do with Paperback Writer's blog. I love her "way of the cheetah" posts, but it occurred to me that she's not a cheetah. Cheetahs sprint. They're fast, but they have no endurance. Obviously, PBW has that. She writes every day.
The second part is from a thread on FM a while back, when I made a comment to Mar that I prefer to work with an idea when it's new and shiny. Sure, who doesn't? Well, I found out that some people actually like to ignore new ideas on the theory that if they're good, they'll come back.
The third part is that I have a short attention span. That's one of the things I like about my work -- I get lots of different topics to work on, and I provide different services. I can switch off to refresh myself. Works well for me. Well, except for when I have a copyediting project that carries on for a long time, a chapter at a time, meaning I'm still getting material long after I've ceased to be interested in the project. It's still a topic I like (usually), and I do the work well when I make myself sit down and do it. But I don't want to. I hate it, dread it, procrastinate doing it, and suffer lots of angst over keeping on keeping on.
Enter my writing. Short stories aren't a problem. I get the idea, I write them. I may get unhappy with how long it takes me to edit and submit, but the idea is complete. Novels . . . well, I've won NaNo twice. If I sit down and write, work very hard and very fast over a short period of time, I can get a lot done. If I try for steady output over a long period of time, I get that same feeling of "Aren't I done with this yet?" I can do it, but there's a lot of mental effort involved in each session of writing.
I have this one series of books -- three of them, but they're not really a trilogy -- about how each one of a trio of sisters learns to deal with her own form of magic after their father (a war wizard) is killed. They're planned; they're plotted; I've done the worldbuilding. But I haven't written a single word of them yet. Part of my mind feels like they're complete, as though I should be able to pick them up off the bookshelf and read them already. What's up with this writing thing?
So the solution to being frustrated about my writing right now is actually to keep going on it, to use what's left of that initial enthusiasm to get that first draft down as fast as I can. The long-term solution? The way to find balance? Those I don't know, but I'll work on them. When the mood strikes. ;)
But I've had deadlines for work, and that has to come first. (Everyone wants their copyeditors and proofreaders to meet deadlines, right? True for nonfiction as well.) And then I've been having this frustration at the lack of balance in my life -- by which I mean I don't get everything done that I want to do. That couldn't possibly be because I'm trying to do too much, right?
Anyway,
bonniers and marfisk have helped a lot with my levels of frustration. Then last night I had an epiphany. Maybe a minor one, but it meant a lot to me.The first part had to do with Paperback Writer's blog. I love her "way of the cheetah" posts, but it occurred to me that she's not a cheetah. Cheetahs sprint. They're fast, but they have no endurance. Obviously, PBW has that. She writes every day.
The second part is from a thread on FM a while back, when I made a comment to Mar that I prefer to work with an idea when it's new and shiny. Sure, who doesn't? Well, I found out that some people actually like to ignore new ideas on the theory that if they're good, they'll come back.
The third part is that I have a short attention span. That's one of the things I like about my work -- I get lots of different topics to work on, and I provide different services. I can switch off to refresh myself. Works well for me. Well, except for when I have a copyediting project that carries on for a long time, a chapter at a time, meaning I'm still getting material long after I've ceased to be interested in the project. It's still a topic I like (usually), and I do the work well when I make myself sit down and do it. But I don't want to. I hate it, dread it, procrastinate doing it, and suffer lots of angst over keeping on keeping on.
Enter my writing. Short stories aren't a problem. I get the idea, I write them. I may get unhappy with how long it takes me to edit and submit, but the idea is complete. Novels . . . well, I've won NaNo twice. If I sit down and write, work very hard and very fast over a short period of time, I can get a lot done. If I try for steady output over a long period of time, I get that same feeling of "Aren't I done with this yet?" I can do it, but there's a lot of mental effort involved in each session of writing.
I have this one series of books -- three of them, but they're not really a trilogy -- about how each one of a trio of sisters learns to deal with her own form of magic after their father (a war wizard) is killed. They're planned; they're plotted; I've done the worldbuilding. But I haven't written a single word of them yet. Part of my mind feels like they're complete, as though I should be able to pick them up off the bookshelf and read them already. What's up with this writing thing?
So the solution to being frustrated about my writing right now is actually to keep going on it, to use what's left of that initial enthusiasm to get that first draft down as fast as I can. The long-term solution? The way to find balance? Those I don't know, but I'll work on them. When the mood strikes. ;)
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no subject
Date: 2005-11-27 06:16 pm (UTC)I don't have a lot of sound advice, since I tend to be in the same boat as you. But you have a lot going for you girl. You have stamina, and true grit. When my mom, sis and I were driving to and from our vacation up north this past week, we took this route on I-88. It was full of twists and turns all the way through, a striking difference from the straight shot of I-127 that we'd just come from. I guess our writing journeys are like that. Right now it feels like I-88, and we have to hang on to the dashboard, or whatever. Trust whoever's driving. Trust that the road will get us there, that if we hang tough and keep doing what we know we love (because we love it, or we wouldn't put ourselves through it, like you said), WE WILL GET THERE. Erin - it's all inside you. Trust the process.
Well. I thought I didn't have anything to say. Here I am with my back aching and still some words left in me to write on Nano before I put it up for the night, but I knew something was wrong, sensed it. So i poked on over here. Who knew? I'm PSYCHIC! lol - or a sidekick? Maybe it's just the Flexeril talking.
At any rate - big big hugs to you. Keep your head up. Hope work lets up for you.
Snoopy
no subject
Date: 2005-11-28 12:51 pm (UTC)The trouble, I think, is finding the process because it is different for each one of us. So this post is about my groping toward an understanding of what works for me. It's easier to trust it if it's defined. And yet I believe in Mystery. But part of Mystery is knowing what the Mystery is, even if I can't understand it. So if I know there's some ineffable process that can't be understood or explained but can be followed -- okay. But that's asking for a lot of faith right now.
Hope your back's getting better.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-28 02:16 pm (UTC)lol - sorry about the true grit part. I get lame when I'm trying to encourage people. It's just me.
The back's fine. *Hugs* with your struggles.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-28 02:27 pm (UTC)Sorry. There was a reason for the cap. In the Catholic Church, Mystery "signifies in general that which is unknowable." They are named, but not understood -- like Christ's suffering.
So what I was saying is that if I can at least name what I'm trying to grasp, if I can delineate its limits, even if I don't understand it, I can come to some acceptance of it. But to try to accept it without going through some process first takes a bit more faith than I have right now. Does that make a bit more sense?
I was just teasing you about the true grit. I'm sure John Wayne wasn't the first thing to pop into everyone's head. I'm just warped. But you knew that, right?