Monday morning blues

[eimarra]

I'm in the doldrums today. Just got a crit back, with some good catches and a lot of good feedback. I'm just frustrated because I feel I miss so much on my own. I've seen authors post on FM to the effect that using crits excessively is depending on a crutch -- a real writer needs to be able to edit her work into shape because she won't always have the luxury of sending something off to beta readers who will take their time with it.

And I'm worried because I know I'm nowhere near that level. I keep thinking I'm getting better at this -- everything from the mechanics of varying sentence length and rhythm to having more than the obvious layer in the story. But then I find out I'm still failing on so many levels.

My number one problem? I think I've made the protagonist's motive clear, or think that the root cause of the MC's behavior isn't important to have down in so many words. But even when I think I've spelled it out from the beginning of the story, my readers tell me they don't understand why X does Y.

I can't imagine giving up writing, but right now, at this moment, I'm really wondering if I'll ever be good enough.

(/end feeling sorry for myself)

Comments

[slobbit.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know how long you've been writing. But I know, from my short experience, I didn't learn it overnight. It seems like I learned to recognize one flaw -- telling, perhaps -- and excised it from the work, then learned about another -- say, slipping POV.

We're writers. We always need someone to *read*, or we collapse under our own weight. But as for crits . . . well, I think they're always useful because you need to see what other people are getting out of it. My mind always fills in subconscious details I already know about the story, so I'm not always sure exactly what I'm getting across. The closest I can get to rereading something fresh is if I set it aside (was it Kipling who said, one month for a short, one year for a novel?). Still, the passages trigger the movie in my head and I can't read the words independent of my indwelling concept.

The key, I think, is not having to rely on critters to supply all your deficiencies. It doesn't sound like you're at that point, in fact it sounds like you are making progress according to your own yardstick.

[bonniers.livejournal.com]

And then of course a good story is more than just one that doesn't have mistakes. It has to do all the positive things too. I doubt if there's any such thing as a story that can't be made better -- more insightful, more intriguing, with more insight into character, a more layered conflict, a more complex climax, a more meaningful resolution. You get into themes and mirror plots and mirror characters. You get into discussions about the nuances of words, and whether the grammatica construct is undermining your meaning. On and on. You never get so good you can stop.

--bonnie

[eimarra]

Thanks. Part of me really is afraid that I rely too much on my critters. I think, though, (when I'm being calm and rational) that it's because I am improving. I see new things wrong with my work that I didn't notice before. I see old mistakes more clearly and get frustrated because I haven't grown beyond them yet.

Writing, I think, is an uphill struggle. Only it's worse. If you're going uphill, even if you're climbing Everest, there's a point when you reach the top. With writing, there's always room for improvement.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who fills in the blanks when reading my own stories.